


i hold you in (you're holding out)

by hexmen



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: (both briefly at the end), Alpha Na Jaemin, Alpha Park Jisung (NCT), Alternate Universe, Childhood Sweethearts, Established Relationship, Kissing, M/M, Minor Mark Lee/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Misunderstandings, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Nudity, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Werewolves, one brief reference to underage kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:28:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29043864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hexmen/pseuds/hexmen
Summary: Jisung has never put too much faith in the idea of instinct. He’d rather believe in Jaemin.
Relationships: Na Jaemin/Park Jisung
Comments: 12
Kudos: 71
Collections: Chenji + '00





	i hold you in (you're holding out)

**Author's Note:**

> First off, a big thank you to Mod Gold for putting this fest together! I’m really happy to be able to participate!
> 
> This fic would not have made it out into the world were it not for the heroic efforts my beta 🌵, and I cannot thank her enough. She encouraged me to keep pushing through these words until they said what I wanted, and boy did they fight me on it, but we got there in the end.
> 
> Every so often, a friend and I debate the idea of soulmates. The premise is simple: if you were in a committed, loving relationship, but one day the universe deemed another person to be your partner’s “soulmate,” what would you do? Deep down I’ve always liked her answers more than I’ve liked mine, and that’s where the roots of this story lie. This fic is dedicated to 🐔, who encourages me to believe that our choices matter more than our fates. 
> 
> Title from “Companions” by The Dodos.

Jaemin’s teeth are plenty sharp—Jisung knows from experience, after all. When they were pups, Jaemin loved to cart him around in his mouth by the scruff, seemingly convinced that Jisung was too clumsy to be left to his own devices. Jaemin still swears he was just keeping him safe, but if he’s in the mood he’ll gladly reminisce about the time when Jisung’s paws were too big for his puppy body with pretty much anyone who brings it up. Jisung mostly thinks Jaemin derives a weird amount of joy from embarrassing him, but he’s kind enough not to stop him. Truth be told, he wouldn’t have traded Jaemin’s attention for anything.

Jisung was there too when Jaemin first learned to hunt with tooth and claw. He would follow Jaemin through the woods on cold autumn mornings as silently as his paws would allow, determined to prove that he shouldn’t be left behind. The very first time Jaemin’s muzzle ever closed around a rabbit, he’d immediately yelped and let go, the rabbit squealing in panic before kicking off back into the woods. Jaemin had only snarled, canines bared and hackles up, when Jeno and Donghyuck came crashing in after it seconds later.

The night Jaemin’s presentation started to set in, though, was the most enlightening episode of all. Jaemin was already running a little hot, desperate for some air, so they escaped to their favorite clearing near the rabbit burrow. Pressed next to each other, Jaemin had been scared of how he might change, and Jisung had been scared of losing Jaemin in the process. Jisung can still remember the weight of Jaemin’s hand on his knee as the last of the season’s fireflies swirled into small constellations in the September twilight, backlit by the ones fixed in the stars up above. _I don’t know if anything will be different this time tomorrow,_ Jaemin had said, _but just in case, there’s something I want you to know_. When Jaemin leaned over to kiss him, it somehow felt like Jisung had been waiting for it his whole life—Jaemin gently tugged Jisung’s lower lip between his teeth, and Jisung’s universe reoriented around the feeling.

Jisung has kissed Jaemin a thousand times since then, but Jaemin isn’t afraid to use his teeth against him when he needs to. Jisung is well and truly pinned by them right now, belly up on the ground with Jaemin’s jaws around his neck. Jaemin’s breath is hot and wet where it mats the fur of Jisung’s scruff, saliva dripping off bared fangs as his chest rumbles above Jisung’s in a snarl. Jaemin’s not really hurting him, but the threat is clear—Jisung might have eventually grown into his feet, and his wolf is larger than Jaemin’s now, but Jaemin is faster and more experienced. Jisung isn’t so stupid as to think his newly-presented alpha status affords him any advantage here.

Jisung whimpers once, softly, and Jaemin finally, slowly, lets go. He licks at Jisung’s neck before pushing into his side with a cold nose, urging him to stand. Jaemin watches until Jisung regains his footing and then starts to trot back towards the tree line, leaving Jisung no choice but to follow two paces behind.

Jisung probably should have known better than to come sprinting out here. He certainly should have known better than to barrel sideways into an unsuspecting alpha, but once he’d finally emerged from the haze of his rut, he just couldn’t tamp his instinct down. Jaemin had always smelled good, especially after his presentation, but now it was amplified. Jaemin’s scent called out to him in a resounding note, fine-tuned by the depth of their history and practically demanding Jisung’s immediate presence. He was up off his pallet, shifting straight through his clothes, and tearing out the cabin door before Renjun even had a chance to stop him. It hadn’t occurred to Jisung then, as it does right now, that Jaemin could have been in the woods instead of by his side for a reason.

When they finally near the tree line, Jaemin drags a familiar brown plastic container out from its hiding place in the foliage with his teeth. Jisung waits while Jaemin shifts, wary of intruding on his space a second time after his first unwelcomed entrance. He’s not sure that he’s _ever_ been rebuffed by Jaemin like that. Instead, Jisung just stares at the ground, trying to figure out why Jaemin would even be out here, until a pair of shorts that smell suspiciously like Mark whack him in the face. Jisung whips around in Jaemin’s direction with a grunt and stumbles over a root in the process, which just makes Jaemin snort out a laugh. By the time he manages to shake the shorts off his snout, Jaemin is already half-dressed in shorts of his own and pulling a shirt down over his head.

“Come on, shift, baby alpha,” he says with a small smile. “We need to talk.”

Jisung tries to scowl at the new nickname before he remembers that it's a little difficult to achieve that while his face is still wolfy. He shifts with a huff before pulling on the shorts and walking towards Jaemin, who is crouched barefoot where he rummages through their makeshift dresser. Jaemin eventually hands him a shirt with a smirk, and this time it smells like Mark _and_ Johnny. Jisung pulls a face, but dutifully tugs the shirt on anyways as Jaemin tucks the container away—clearing the air with his boyfriend takes precedence over whatever Mark gets up to in his free time.

That doesn’t mean he can’t complain about it, though. “Gross,” Jisung whines, picking at the hem of the shirt and hoping it might ease some of the tension brought on by the current elephant in the forest. “Wasn’t there anything in there that _wouldn’t_ force me to contemplate how often Mark-hyung and Johnny-hyung make out?”

“Sadly, no,” Jaemin replies, smirk softened into something more affectionate as he watches Jisung’s hands fiddle with the offending fabric. “And I won’t even ask where _your_ clothes are right now, so you’re welcome. The only other things in there belonged to Xuxi-hyung or Chenle, and I thought that might be a little much for you at the moment.”

“You just don’t want me to smell like an alpha that isn’t you,” Jisung teases back, nearly automatic after years of bickering. On any other day, that would earn him any number of kisses smacked around his face, or maybe a headlock, depending on Jaemin’s mood. Today, though, Jaemin’s face smooths into a more neutral expression as he stands up and looks away from Jisung’s fingers.

“Congratulations on your presentation, by the way,” Jaemin says, but it’s muted, and Jisung isn’t sure he sounds entirely sincere. “Are you feeling okay? I hope your rut wasn’t too awful.” The “like mine” goes without saying. After they’d come back from the clearing that September night, Jaemin had slipped into a fever that quickly devolved into unanticipated anger, refusing to stay in bed and lashing out at anyone who got too close. Jisung stayed outside Jaemin’s door as long as he could, before the healer realized he was there and immediately told him to leave. Later on, he learned that he’d actually been the cause of Jaemin’s frustration as he tried to adapt to the instinct of his new status. It sealed the notion already held by most of the pack elders that Jisung would be an omega, what with the way he had trailed after Jaemin most of his life. Jisung had never cared much about how he would present, but he can’t help but feel a little vindicated now that they turned out to all be wrong, too busy drawing conclusions from the surface to understand the people underneath.

“I’m okay, but Hyung, why—where were you when my rut ended?” Jisung asks, and despite his best efforts he’s not really able to keep the hurt from his voice. Jaemin’s expression slides from forced pleasantry into something much sadder at the question. He doesn’t like to disappoint Jisung, and Jisung isn’t all that used to being disappointed.

“I’m so sorry, Jisung,” Jaemin says, so gently it makes tears unexpectedly prick the backs of Jisung’s eyes. “I just needed some time to think.”

“About what?” Jisung asks, confused. “Is—have you been out here for _days_? Are _you_ okay?” Jisung takes a hasty step forward and reaches out to check Jaemin over for injuries, but Jaemin just takes a step back, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’m so sorry,” Jaemin says again, like a broken record, somehow warped by Jisung’s presentation. He’s clearly upset, but he has yet to just come out and tell Jisung whatever is bothering him, and Jisung feels annoyance start to build in his gut.

“So, you’re not okay then,” Jisung says, arms falling to his sides and frustration rising as his instinct fixates on how his boyfriend ( _mate_ , his alpha whispers, that’s our _mate_ ) is hurting but won’t tell him how he can help. “Don’t lie to me, Hyung,” he grits out. Jisung can hear how rough his voice is—he’s picking a fight with Jaemin right now, a real one, but he can’t really find it in himself to care at the moment.

Jaemin’s face hardens as his nostrils flare, the toned muscle and sinew of his arms standing out as he tightens his grip where his arms are still crossed. “Check your instinct, pup,” he says tightly, and Jisung becomes vaguely aware of the tension that has gripped his own body, fists clenched and shoulders in a tight line. “I can’t talk about boundaries with you right now if you’re too lost to think about them rationally.”

Boundaries? _Separation_ , his fear whispers, as insidious as it is irrational, but Jisung’s heart drops into his stomach anyways. Jaemin had always said he didn’t care how Jisung presented, and Jisung had always believed him, but now he wonders if that faith might have been misplaced. After a lifetime wedged together, is Jaemin trying to _leave_?

“Do you not—Hyung, are—” Jisung splutters, incredulous. “Are we about to _break up_?”

“Jisung—” Jaemin starts, but he’s being careful again. Too careful, as if Jisung is a spooked animal that needs to be gentled. He’s not even _looking_ at Jisung anymore, he hasn’t even _touched_ him aside from the amount of time it took to pin him down in the dirt earlier, and Jisung’s patience snaps under the weight of his trepidation.

“No, Hyung, tell me, why—why weren’t you there?” Jisung spits, a few helpless, useless tears spilling over his cheeks and blurring his vision. “Because you had to _think_? What was so important that you left me and _didn’t come back_?”

“Oh baby, no, please don’t cry,” Jaemin urges, stepping forward with hands outstretched, clearly aiming to wipe Jisung’s tears away. At this particular moment, though, Jisung isn’t feeling quite charitable enough to let him. His instinct is firmly in the driver’s seat, and he throws a hand out in between them to halt Jaemin’s advance. Jaemin swallows, jaw tight, and experience tells Jisung that Jaemin is bucking against his own instinct right now to hold the line drawn between them. “Look, I can’t—” Jaemin breaks off, huffing out before starting again. “As soon as I smelled you, I knew you weren’t a beta or an omega, Jisung, and I just needed some air.”

“So you’re upset that I’m an _alpha_?” Jisung cries, the betrayal tearing through his chest and staining everything _red_. Unthinking, he pulls his hand back in to press firmly against his sternum—as if he could apply enough pressure to stop the bleeding. He can barely wrap his mind around being so completely let down by the person he loves most, and his instinct burns at a rejection from the one it wants to claim, only adding insult to injury.

“No, please just listen,” Jaemin pleads, eyes shining with emotion—or perhaps that’s just Jisung seeing what he wants to see. It’s hard to really tell when his own vision is still blurry. “I promise I’m not upset about that. I’m not. I just—when I caught your scent, it—” Jaemin breaks off, closing his eyes for a moment before he collects himself enough to speak. “Do you remember the first time I kissed you?” he asks, opening his eyes, clearly searching for something as his gaze flickers over Jisung’s face.

Jisung’s pain flares up into anger, then, fist clenching where his hand is pressed over his shirt because Jaemin _still_ isn’t telling him why he _abandoned him_. “Hyung,” he bites out. “What the hell—”

“You wanted an explanation, pup,” Jaemin growls, tersely cutting Jisung off mid-sentence before he realizes the severity of his tone. “I’m trying my best to give you one,” he adds, only this time he’s back to his too-careful words from before. Jisung’s not quite sure if that’s better or worse.

Jaemin looks around briefly before motioning at a nearby log for Jisung to sit down, and Jisung’s instinct tells him to bristle against the order. Being with Jaemin right now _hurts_ , but Jaemin is looking at him in that soft, aching way he reserves just for Jisung—the way that makes Jisung remember a hand on his knee on a night full of stars. It’s enough for Jisung to fight off the urge to flee. Instead, he makes the effort to consciously relax his posture and walks over to sit on one end of the fallen tree.

“Of course I do,” Jisung replies, as Jaemin sits down several feet away from him, just far enough that one of them would have to move across the log to touch the other. “Remember our first kiss, I mean. Why?” Jaemin swings one leg over the tree to straddle it, facing Jisung head-on. Despite the situation, Jisung can’t help but be a little endeared by the sight, always pleased to be the center of Jaemin’s attention. He throws a leg over the log and mirrors his position to match Jaemin.

“Do you remember the fireflies?” Jaemin asks, smiling gingerly down at his hands. Jisung wants to push back because while the fireflies had been pretty, Jaemin’s question isn’t an _answer_. Before he can articulate a response, though, Jaemin continues. “It looked like the stars rearranged themselves that night.” He looks up and Jisung’s breath catches in his chest, his heart tripping over itself at the naked affection in Jaemin’s eyes. “I kissed you then because I loved you, despite knowing parts of me might change the next day. I knew that I could have been drawn to a different scent once I presented, but I wanted to choose you while I still felt like I was just me. Before anything else could get in the way.” Jaemin sighs then, looking down at the stretch of wood between his thighs.

“Jisung, I’ve loved you in one way or another for as long as I can remember. So when I presented as an alpha, and I didn’t scent out another mate in the pack, I—” He breaks off yet again, but Jisung’s frustration at his reticence has mostly faded away. He honestly takes no joy in watching Jaemin struggle. “I always knew it was possible for you to be an alpha, of course I did. But I figured that with a love like ours, the stars would . . . smooth it out.” Jaemin twists his hands together, picking at the cuticle of his left thumb as Jisung watches a flush begin to burn up his neck. “I figured that you’d be an omega because I was an alpha, and that would be the easiest option.” He exhales harshly then, rucking one hand through his hair, gripping a fistful of it tightly before letting go and dropping his hand back into his lap, meeting Jisung’s eyes. “Most everyone was already saying it anyways, and I _know_ that doesn’t mean anything. It seems so stupid now. But some part of me couldn’t help but want to believe it. I just felt so certain that I was going to be able to keep you, forever, and so I’ve always told myself I was right to kiss you when we were unpresented.” Jaemin tries to smile, but it’s a jagged, self-deriding little thing. Jisung hates to see it on his face. “After the last few days, though, I can’t help but wonder if I made a mistake.”

“So you _are_ upset that I’m an alpha,” Jisung murmurs, the pain from earlier sharpening and splintering in his rib cage, until it really feels like his heart is starting to crack. Jisung chokes on a sob and Jaemin immediately reacts, moving forward to cup Jisung’s cheeks between his palms, hushing him gently. Jisung lets him this time, but it seems brutally unfair—Jisung ached for Jaemin’s touch for _days_ , and he only has it now because Jaemin is trying to patch up wounds that he inflicted.

“I promise I’m not upset,” Jaemin pleads, wiping a thumb across the damp arch of Jisung’s left cheekbone. “I know you’re hurting, and I’m so sorry for that, I can’t even tell you how much. But I still need you to hear me out, okay?” Jaemin smiles tenderly at him, dropping one hand to Jisung’s neck while he presses gentle fingertips below Jisung’s mouth with the other. A tear has tracked its way down to the mole there, and Jaemin looks for a moment like he’d like to kiss it away. Instead, he drops both hands to rest on Jisung’s chest, pausing there until gathers whatever resolve he seems to need in order to look Jisung in the eyes again.

“I love you, Jisung,” Jaemin says. “Alpha, beta, or omega, I love you. Kissing you for the first time felt good, but more importantly, it felt _right_.” Jaemin drops his hold from Jisung’s chest to pick up his hands, clutching them tightly before continuing. “When I scented you a few days ago, I felt that same sense of surety all over again. I want you, and my instinct wants you. But then I started to think about what your presentation really meant, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized—'' Jaemin lifts one of Jisung’s hands to his mouth, pressing his lips to Jisung’s pulse. It seems like an act of penance rather than romance, though, particularly when he breathes in deeply before turning his face away, returning Jisung’s wrists back to his own lap. Jisung reaches out for Jaemin as soon as he lets go, but Jaemin shifts backwards, tucking his own hands between his thighs. “I kissed you when we were both unpresented,” Jaemin says, voice raw. “I couldn’t even wait until we’d been dealt all of our cards to decide how I wanted to play them.” He grimaces down at his hands, and Jisung _aches_ to touch him, his instinct to comfort Jaemin slamming up against his desire to respect the space Jaemin has put between them. “The reality is that our relationship will be harder now, instinctually. Ruts will be complicated. We might not have children of our own to raise. We’re going to clash, probably more than we ever have before, as if me knocking you flat on your back mere minutes ago isn’t proof.”

“Hyung, I’m not mad about that,” Jisung interjects, anything to make Jaemin just a little less sad. “I should have known better than to come at you like that without a warning.”

“But it’s still the problem,” Jaemin says, the misery in his voice plainly reflected on his face as he pushes up and off the log to put some distance between them. “Since we were kids, whether I really understood it or not, I only wanted to do things that made you happy.” He drags in a shuddering breath, almost as if to brace himself, before he angles back towards Jisung. “I just hadn’t ever really considered that your presentation might mean that one day I wouldn't be able to.”

Jisung opens his mouth to object, indignant at the very _idea_ , but Jaemin holds up a hand to cut him off. “Wait, Jisung, come on. There was _always_ a chance, no matter how you presented, that your instinct might not point towards me. A chance that I had never taken seriously until you became an alpha, and that’s on me, but I’m trying to tell you that if you don’t—”

Jaemin’s voice cracks on the last syllable, and he sounds like he’s nearly drowning in his words now, searching for salvation in Jisung’s face. Jisung watches as he drops his hand to rub a few times against the outside of his upper thigh, a sure-fire sign that he’s nervous about whatever he’s going to say next. “If you don’t want this anymore, or if it’s too much, I’ll respect it. I’ll always support you.” The promise is almost too low to be audible, but it rings in Jisung’s ears as if Jaemin had shouted it—a terrible, unfathomable thing. “The thing is, though, Jisung—you’re the love of my life. I left because I couldn't be there to see it if you walked out of that cabin looking for anyone else but me. I’m so sorry.”

Jisung doesn’t even know where to _start_ with untangling all this, and to his horror, Jaemin apparently isn’t done. “If your instinct points you in another direction,” he chokes out, “and you want to pursue it, then I’ll understand. I’m sorry that you’ll have to carry the hurt of this relationship around with you while you do.” Jaemin rubs at the back of his neck, contrite, but he doesn’t look away from Jisung as he deals the final blow. “I just want you to be happy, and over the last few days—it just felt so selfish, in hindsight, to have ever kissed you at all.”

That’s—no. _No._ Regret is a bridge too far. Jisung’s tears have dried up during the course of Jaemin’s self-flagellation, but he’s horrified to see one sneak out from the corner of Jaemin’s eye now as he drops his head and sniffs surreptitiously.

Jaemin _never_ cries.

“Hyung,” Jisung interjects, scrambling for words before Jaemin can say anything else. “Oh my God, don’t cry, I—'' He’s astonished that Jaemin has been beating himself up for days over _this_ , as if this nightmare scenario he’s been spinning out in his mind could ever be possible. “This is—Hyung, what are you even _saying_? I love you, but this is legitimately the worst thing you’ve ever—how could you even _think_ —”

“Wait, please,” Jaemin interrupts, voice firm, but he's clearly taken a little aback by Jisung’s exasperation if the scrunch of his brow as he raises his head is any indication. "I’m not finished." Jisung just wonders at him for a moment, until Jaemin starts to shift slightly back and forth on his feet in discomfort. Few people besides Jisung would even know to look for that tell, but in it he finds his path forward.

“Go on then, Hyung,” Jisung says, pushing up off the log and wiping his hands off on his shorts. Whatever Jaemin’s remaining worries are, for Jisung, this is already over. “Tell me whatever else has been rotting away up there in your brain.” He tries his best to keep a straight face, still somewhat in disbelief at how the last half hour has unfolded. Years of experience nonetheless clue Jaemin in to the fact that Jisung isn’t being entirely serious, and he skeptically narrows his gaze as Jisung approaches.

“You’re already proving my next point, Jisung,” Jaemin says. “This is _exactly_ what I was about to say. Even if your instinct was telling you something else right now, you’d still be here with me because you’re stubborn, and it’s unrealistic. It’s not unreasonable for me to ask you to consider your instinct seriously, or to worry that you’ll resent me down the road if you don’t.”

Jisung just steps in closer and cautiously reaches out for Jaemin’s hand, trying to give him the opportunity to pull away again if he wants. When he doesn’t, Jisung knows this mess is well and truly over, despite whatever else Jaemin’s instinctual need to protect him might force out of his mouth. “Okay, Jaemin. I’ve listened like you asked,” Jisung says, reaching up to smooth down a tuft of Jaemin’s hair from where he’d rucked it up earlier. “Can I have a say in what happens now, or have you already played it all out as the worst-case scenario?”

He means the last bit as a joke, but Jaemin just frowns at him, squeezing Jisung’s hand as payback for the lip. “This is important, Jisung. I’m asking you to really think about what you’re feeling and to be honest with me about it.” Jisung just takes him in for a moment, in awe of how much Jaemin _loves him_ , even if they both blew this whole thing horrendously out of proportion. Jaemin was prepared to make himself miserable for Jisung to be happy—as if Jisung could be happy without him. Jaemin must take his silence as a sign that Jisung is undecided on what to say, though, because he strains out an additional, “Right now. Please.”

“Hyung,” Jisung laughs out, before pressing a kiss to Jaemin’s forehead. When Jisung pulls away, Jaemin is _still_ frowning at him, and Jisung has no other choice but to drop another kiss on his temple, enamored despite himself. “You know, we could have avoided getting tears all over Mark-hyung’s shirt if you’d just asked me about my instinct from the start.” Jisung smiles at Jaemin and wraps his free arm around his waist, pulling him in closer. “Instead, I thought you were trying to _break up_. Ridiculous.”

“Excuse me,” Jaemin responds with a thump to Jisung’s chest, his frown finally abating in favor of indignation. “You fabricated that part all on your own,” he says, dropping Jisung’s hand in order to wrap his arms around Jisung’s neck. “You should know better than to jump to conclusions,” Jaemin teases, but it’s saccharine, the sentiment over-exaggerated in the way Jaemin reserves for doting on the pack’s babies or intentionally trying to fluster his boyfriend. Jisung leans in to kiss him quiet for the annoyance, but Jaemin pulls back and away before he can. “I wanted to, you know,” Jaemin says, so quietly that Jisung’s heart _hurts_. “Ask you. But you were upset after we shifted, and then you brought up a break up. I was too afraid of what that meant.”

Jisung frames Jaemin’s cheek with one hand, tilting his face up carefully. When their eyes connect, Jaemin presses a delicate kiss to the heel of Jisung’s palm. Rather suddenly, Jisung’s mouth feels dry and his eyes feel wet, but he thinks there’s already been enough tears for one day. Jaemin has done the hardest part; the least Jisung can do now is be completely honest in return.

“Of _course_ I want you to be my mate, Jaemin,” Jisung says, dragging his thumb gently across Jaemin’s lower lip. “When my rut broke, I literally shifted while I was _still in my clothes_ because I couldn’t get to you fast enough. I think it scared the shit out of Renjun.” Jaemin smiles widely at the visual Jisung’s words create, and it’s a real smile this time, unencumbered by his earlier sorrow. Jisung thinks he’s never seen anything more beautiful. “But that doesn’t even really matter. Hyung, when you kissed me, before you presented—you _were_ right.”

Jisung drops his hands to place them low on Jaemin's waist, and he can’t help but smile at the sight of Jaemin’s neck going red again, this time for a very different reason. Jaemin exaggerates a scowl when he catches him, reaching down to pinch the inside of one of Jisung’s forearms, and both of them laugh when Jisung huffs out in shock at the sting.

Jisung tries to school his features as best he can, but it’s a hard feat in front of a happy Jaemin. “Wait, Hyung, I’m not finished,” he somberly intones and Jaemin rolls his eyes at the quip, but he doesn’t resist when Jisung pulls him in until they’re flush against each other. “Normally, you’d have offered to kiss that better by now,” Jisung says, speaking in low tones into Jaemin’s ear before he pulls back to look at him. “I’m a little hurt.” Jisung somehow manages not to laugh again at Jaemin’s blush, which has crept up to his ears. He settles for tugging on one of Jaemin’s reddened earlobes instead. “I guess you’re lucky that I’m not done telling you something very important.”

A sudden flux of nerves over the need to get this _right_ overtakes him as he gazes down to where Jaemin’s shirt collar is stretched out over one collarbone. Jaemin just hums in encouragement and strokes gently over Jisung’s nape as he gathers his words.

“You chose me, Jaemin-hyung,” Jisung says, lifting his eyes after a beat to find a somewhat puzzled Jaemin. “I mean— _You_ chose me,” he tries to clarify, squeezing Jaemin’s waist. “Despite the unknowns. And then after you presented, you kept on choosing me. That’s what makes it right—you freed me up to choose you right back. Even if I had come down from my rut this morning and someone else’s scent had called to me, I wouldn’t have cared at all.” The confusion has melted off Jaemin’s face, replaced by a look of such open adoration that Jisung isn’t sure he can withstand it. Instead, he presses his forehead to Jaemin’s and breathes him in properly for the first time, bolstered by Jaemin’s scent as he soldiers on. “I chose to kiss you back that night. Just like I’m choosing you right now, and I’ll keep choosing you. Until the end.”

When Jaemin pulls Jisung in for a kiss, it’s both everything and nothing like their first. It’s right in the same way it’s always been right, but this time it’s also _more_ , a whole kaleidoscope of colors and sensations spinning behind Jisung’s eyes. Jaemin pulls Jisung’s bottom lip between his teeth, and Jisung’s world tilts once again, orienting them in their new reality.

Jisung still can’t just let Jaemin get away with pinning him in the dirt and making him cry on the _same day_ , though. Once he feels certain Jaemin has been placated enough to be sufficiently teased, Jisung breaks off the kiss, turning his head every which way to avoid the kisses Jaemin keeps trying to press to his mouth. Jisung’s plan backfires when Jaemin decides to mark up his neck instead, nipping in one place before soothing the bite of his teeth with a soft peck and moving on, ghosted imitations of a mating mark.

“Jaemin,” Jisung says, but Jaemin just hums, the response rumbling up from somewhere deep in his chest since his mouth is currently preoccupied worrying a small hickey above Jisung’s clavicle. “I want to go for a run. Only this time, preferably, it _won’t_ end with me wondering if you’re about to rip my throat out.” Jaemin pulls back to study Jisung’s face, trying to puzzle out exactly what it is Jisung is asking for. “And I also want a mating run, Hyung.” Jisung adds quietly, answering Jaemin’s unspoken question. “With you.”

Jisung could swear that Jaemin stops breathing for a moment, pressed together as they are, before he slowly drops his arms to wrap them tightly around Jisung’s middle. Jisung feels a bit like a mouse caught unawares in the grip of a snake.

“I think I could agree to that,” Jaemin murmurs, the corners of his mouth turned up, smug. “Another day. For now, though, I think you’d better just take those nasty clothes off and shift. I’m tired of smelling Mark.” Jaemin sweeps a hand up under the affronting shirt to lightly skim his fingers over the line of fabric where Mark’s shorts meet Jisung’s spine. The touch raises gooseflesh in the small of his back, and it’s Jisung’s turn to flush this time. “I’ll even give you a head start, for all your trouble,” he adds, voice deeper than Jisung’s ever heard it, and his canines are sharp as his smirk blooms outwards into a wicked grin. Jisung’s heart thumps in his chest at the sight, rabbit-quick, and Jaemin raises one eyebrow at the feeling, his scent shifting into something dark and sticky that sets Jisung’s senses on fire.

Jisung steels himself against his nerves to slowly untangle himself from Jaemin’s grip. His feet are surprisingly steady as he takes a few steps backwards, sliding Mark’s shorts off and slipping his shirt off over his head before tossing the offending articles in the dirt at Jaemin’s feet. (Mark will absolutely demand they do his laundry for a week if he finds out about this. Jisung loves Mark, but right now, he can’t really find it in himself to care.)

He observes carefully as Jaemin visually maps his body, cataloguing the changes brought on by his presentation. Jisung waits until he thinks Jaemin’s looked just enough—until he finally drags his gaze up to meet Jisung’s eyes—before he turns and starts to walk away, the thrill of regaining the upper hand singing in his blood. Perhaps it’s the sense of freedom that comes along with knowing that Jaemin is going to be his _mate_ one day, or merely the fact that increasing the distance between them clears some of Jaemin’s scent out of his head, but something makes Jisung stop and glance back over his shoulder to where Jaemin stands, his own shirt now in the dirt at his feet, waiting for Jisung to take his head start. Jaemin looks powerful, something almost feral in his face, and Jisung suppresses a shiver as Jaemin lazily shoos him away with one hand.

“Catch me if you can, Hyung,” Jisung croons, and he has no doubt Jaemin heard him given the grunt he gets in return. Jisung just raises an eyebrow at him, because two can play this game. “Or maybe I’ll catch you first.”

Jaemin full-on growls at him this time and Jisung grins in response, energy striking up inside him like lightning in a bottle as he shifts and tears off into the forest. He takes a moment just to revel in the feel of his instinct singing through him as he runs, veering east towards the creek, until Jaemin howls from somewhere in the distance. The sound rings through the pines as the stars begin to peek out in the twilight above, spurring Jisung deeper into the heart of woods.


End file.
